Thursday, December 1, 2011

A New Beginning

So I had to move back in with my mom. Does it suck? Yes. Will I survive? Yes. Maybe now I will spend more time blogging. Who knows? What I do know is this, I will absolutely love my bank account from now on. :)

 Hello world I'm your wild girl! I'm your chechechechecherry boooomb!

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Sometimes Cheese Just isn't Enough

Dear Mouse,

       I just wanted to say how sorry I am that you were injured in my trap. I too was injured in the trap as I put my cheese on the line and you ate it. I don't like seeing you hurt but to me it obviously didn't last too long. The way you bounced back and went for different cheese all too quickly makes me think otherwise. So my question is why? Why isn't just my cheese good enough for you? Why do you have to run to back to your old back-of-the-track mice friends with their stinky cheese? You tell me my cheese just didn't taste good. WTF Mouse?! I give you premium top of the line cheese and you're telling me its not good enough?!

      You were my best friend, Mouse. Now I feel like I don't know you anymore. We barely see each other and when we do every time you want my cheese. As soon as you scurry back to your little hole, its like you forget about me. That really hurts! I just want my old friend back but we've gone too far now. You took too much of my cheese and crapped all over my pantry and I just can't take it much longer.

       The trap was set, you ate my cheese, and we both got stung. Now I only ask of you Mouse to either take my cheese and love it like you mean it or go and never come back. I can't tell you no because I still care for you. So please just do me this favor and walk away from this gracefully so I can heal and make other mice friends, ones who will love my cheese for what its worth.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         -Phoenix <3

Monday, July 25, 2011

Devil in Pink Shorts

I'm sure most of you have encountered people you think are just bad news and are all around just horrible to be next to. I'm also sure that this person is around your current age or older. Mine is about 7. To you little devil girl I write this post, for you have annoyed me for the last time. I'm sick and tired of the "kids don't know any better attitude." This one knows perfectly well what she's doing. Don't touch my hair with your grubby gross hands and don't laugh at me when I try to correct you. I'm not interested in your silly games of hide and seek while I'm at work, and I don't particularly like you climbing on the furniture. I wish your mom would get the fucking picture that I am NOT your babysitter. That's not what I'm paid for. They could pay me a million dollars and I still wouldn't watch your horrible ass. What aggravates me now is that I get to watch you grow up with a sense of self entitlement. Not only will you leech off of my hard earned tax dollars when you get older, you will probably come back and nickel and dime me to death over a $1 fine. My only hope is that you move far far away from here, but I highly doubt that will happen.

Thursday, July 21, 2011

The Day of the Angry People

So yesterday was the Day of the Angry People. Why you ask? Because almost every damn person I encountered yesterday was angry. Now why couldn't we sync up our angers at the same time? I was angry 2 days ago. Where were you? Were you frolicking in the meadows and picking daisies, while I was so steamed up I had my own personal sauna?

Sadly, I was actually happy yesterday. Happy!! Considering everything that I've been going through lately that was a big deal! You angry people with your attitudes and furrowed brows ruined my happy day! So next time you're angry and I'm in the best mood I've had in a long time, I'm going to give you an enema of sunshine. While that's happening, I'll take a magnifying glass and set fire you on fire. How's that bitch?!

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

First post ever.

So this is my first post ever. Welcome to my blog! I'm going to bitch about all the things I can't on Facebook. If you can't handle the heat stay off my page. :)